Making the GRADE....way more important than it really is.

We all want to know how we compare in life. As students, we do it by trying to ask profound questions or avoid asking stupid ones in class and of course, the ultimate determinant--OUR GRADES.

By those standards, the last few days have been opportunity for measure in my world as a student. Three exams, 3 grades, and 160 other students to compete with. But, what measures what? Am I really competing?

In fact, I often find myself doing just that...measuring myself by the success/failure of others. However, what will I do when I am no longer a student? What will I do when I cannot feel inferior to others based on 6-10 points on an exam or where I feel like I can do anything because I scored 5% points higher than the class average.

Why do we constantly seek out the success/failure of our classmates? Why do we rush out and discuss answers to exams, grades we received, and the ALMIGHTY CLASS AVERAGE!?!? Well, obviously, we don't want to be THE ONLY ONE.

So, being the only one who got it wrong is bad and being the only one to get it all right is good. Hmm...I need to think on this one a bit. What are we really afraid of here? Coming soon.......

Road map.....

So, what better way to stop thinking, thinking, thinking, and wondering what's next than to make a weekly road map of "my ideal schedule"? Can I really conform to this............

The Schedule(click me!!) - THIS LINK IS MALFUNCTIONING..AND BLOWING MY MIND!

From The plan

Breaking the habit....

Today started off with one of my worst habits.....killing the alarm and jumping right back into bed. I honestly have no idea what the rationale for this is and have a dozen or so absences from my 7:30 MWF class to prove it is counterproductive. Is this relative? Extra sleep = more productivity?

At this point, I do not believe my investment in more sleep has provided me with fuel or an advantage to be more productive or successful. However....

Not all can be fixed at once. I have recognized this counterproductive habit and put value into the afflictive emotion and anxiety it creates in my life. I will remind myself before bed with a note card reminding me of the bad habit I wish to avoid when I wake in the morning.

In addition, I did manage to vary a bad habit/resist its temptation today. In social settings, I have a certain "topic" which people expect me to always contribute to. However, today, I did not take the initiative and put in my 2 cents on the topic. I merely sat back and enjoyed the discussion by listening. Unfortunately, someone noticed I was not commenting and made it a point to bring me to the point of discussion. I cracked......but it was not the same habit. It was a success. The new issue that has arisen dependently from this experience....peer pressure? One more for the notecards!!

Recovery?

So, here I am, 8 hours later. I did manage to let the anxiety go, study, and make up for my lack of productivity and focus today by being more focused and efficient in my study session.

However, I imagine now what I COULD HAVE DONE with that time had I kept my plans and committed to that type of focus throughout the entire day. But here I am....making note, contemplating RIGHT ACTIONS and not ignoring the cyclic nature that always leads me to the same disappointing results.

Soon, the plan will bemade more clear here........hours will be less important, and minutes and seconds will have so much more meaning. Or will I continue to be JALA?

Fails to plan...plans to fail?

Maybe.....
....but today, I woke up at 11am. Just 3 hours after my planned time of 8am. So, what now? My day started off with a FAILURE? Quite possibly. So, this begins my version of JALA. Day 1....I proceed to my normal cyclic existence.

1. Make a plan - don't follow it. Two failures:
Failure 1: Waste time on plan I never carry out
Failure 2: Not carry out plan(didn't wake up!)

Has the world collapsed........

In fact it has not, but my anxiety is up, my schedule imploded from that point on, and I am troubled with the burning question...do I re-plan my day? Start from scratch here at 3:41pm?

I know one thing...first the anxiety must pass. The mistake is made. I've accepted it. Anxiety must leave now.........

However, I still need to progress with my agenda for the day........let's see what happens.

So much taken for granted......

So, this begins with a simple statement...."Where there is long, there must be short". All things are relative. If this is so, my life style as an American may seem average to above average in the contexts of social life, education, self improvement, political action, compassion, and the firm belief in something greater than the self.

The point....

I CAN DO MORE. I cannot continue this life of "cyclic existence" where I ignore the lessons of the past and continue to claim the "human condition" of living my life based on afflicted emotions and ignorance.

At 28, I developed a list of 29 things I want to complete by my 29th birthday. In addition, now I want to record and display various other opportunities I have dismissed as JALA - JUST ANOTHER LAZY AMERICAN.

Even though the title says "another", I will concede to this - I am the ONLY lazy American out there. You must decide for yourself what makes you or does not make you JALA. As it really is all relative and at the end of the day...you must live with it.